Who am I?

Who am i? I really dunno.
A girl which is stuborn? Yes i am.
A girl which is stupid? I admit.
A girl which is smart and clever? Suddenly the answer is NO!
If im really so that smart, i wont let myself drop into a huge tunnel that until now i cannot climb out. If im really so clever, i wont punish myself by not accept any people now.
Who can i blame? No one.

Crying in a day have hurt my eyes a lot... But the eye drop wont stop. And i cant help it. Sometime i think im really stupid. Hoping for someone that dont have any ending. Is kinda stupid. Thinking of him make my heart feel very pain, such as bleeding... Cause a lot of pain... And until now there is no one that can heal me up... May be this scar will heal automaticaly, but it needs time, 10 year, 20 years or even 50 years... I will wait for the scar to heal then i can start my new journey, new love story...

MAY BE.......

Far Far Away...

6 year before now, me and him seem very closed... But 6 year after that it seem like me and him is far far away... But i think he cant find out also... But when i know that im not the right person for him, my heart is dead. Is kinda hard to forget a person that you love, but time is a better way to relax and forget somebody.

My semester 5 have ended in last friday, is just like a war for me, rush... rush... rush... But finally, i have pass up the assignment and waiting for result now... Well... for me, i kinda worry im going to fail in this semester cause i really don have the confidence to pass my main subject... If i fail, then i have to say goodbye to my beloved classmate...

Now im in a holiday and my birthday is coming soon... Until now i have receive 3 present from my friend. But dunno later still have any present to receive or not... HAHA... But i wish i have, cause i LOVE... present... Wish me have a thousand of present in this year... 20 years old birthday... Here i come...

Myself

Sometimes i also dunno myself, sad when i think about him, happy because of my classmate, upset because i have no confident in my education, worry because i scare i cant do my part time designer job well... I seem kinda useless, but this is me. In front of others, i'm a happy, always smile, play and cheerful girl, but inside me, no one know... All my stress, worriness, sadness stay in my heart, but i won tell anyone... I think I don have the guts to show all this feeling out.

Education is in the progress, Love, don have any in my life now, Work is not steady right now, Family is seperate for a long time ago, Friends have a lot but just only 2 people can say things... All this seem like still in a unlucky position... But who care??? No one will ask my things accept me. Wish someone can help me get through all this...

Last week my classmate have celebrate my birthday early, is kinda surprise, that day i have make 2 wish, one is hope i can graduate by next year, another one is wish i can find my true love to help me to get through all the stressness i'm facing now...Gambateh!!!